그래도 사랑해야지...

 

 

                         이 삶이 참 힘들고 아파 괴로워하고

                         상처난 가슴을 쓸어안으며

                         혼자 울며 밤을 지새우고


                         그렇게하는 내가 미워 몸부림쳐도


                         아무도 나를 위로하거나

                         같이 아파해주는 사람은 없다


                         철저하게 냉정한 삶의 방정식은

                         올 때 혼자였고 아픔도 혼자겪고

                         갈 때도 역시 혼자이다


                        여러 관계속에서 서로가 주고 받지만

                        그것 역시 자신들의 에고를 쏟아내는

                        이기적자아의 자기만족을 위한 무대아니던가...


                        자신들만의 관념과 에고적 자아의 틀에 갇혀

                        서로의 영혼을 멍들게하는 지구적 삶

                        이 지구인류의 이기와 교만과 아집의

                        거친 파동들이 이젠 힘겨웁다


                        나와 다른 모습들을 인정해주고

                        내가 아프면 남도 같이 아파함을 알고

                        따뜻하고 열린마음으로

                        서로를 감싸안아줄순 없는걸까


                        그것이 그토록 힘들고 어려운 일이던가


                        우리는 태어나는 순간 다같이 불쌍하고

                        힘들고 외로운 영혼들이 아니던가....


                        혼자가는 길이지만 함께가야하는 

                        우리들 모두의 여행길이  

                        좀 더 따뜻해지고 너그러워지는 

                        격려와 사랑의 길이 될순 없을까


                        내안의 신의 목소리는 "사랑하라" 하지만

                        내가 그 사랑임을 알지만

                        이젠 그 사랑을 이야기하기가 지치고 힘이든다


                        처절한 나의 삶을 통해 만난

                        내안의 신과 함께 이젠 고요하고 싶다


                        사랑하는 다른 벗들이 펼치는 

                        그들의 에고놀이는 언제쯤 막을 내릴까


                        이 거칠게 요동치는 풍랑의 장을 떠나

                        잠시...아니 영원히 혼자이고 싶다


                        "그것 역시 나의 표현이니 나의 다른 모습임을 알라..."

                        하시는 신의 목소리를 뒤로한채...


                        그래도 사랑해야지....

                        나는 사랑이니까....

 

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